I Guess I Couldn't Fool You

So I told you all how I broke my computer, and as intelligent as you all are, you saw right through me. I tried to get by telling you as little as possible so as to let you believe that I have settled down from my younger days. But no, you want the real story. I did tell the truth, but I just left out some minor details. Here is the story in its entirety.

Let me explain my absence from the blogging scene. The reason I haven't been frequenting my blog is because about 2 months ago I broke my computer. It was a dark and rainy night. I had been checking my fantasy football scores when I had a strong hunger pang for some scrambled eggs. I got up from the couch, set my computer down and went into the kitchen. While there I decided to add as much flavor to my eggs as humanly possible, so I added things like bacon bits, ranch dressing, jalepeños, Havarti cheese, worcestershire sauce, basil, paprika, Pace picante salsa, chili pepper, onions, and sausage. (sounds like a recipe for the Culinary Cro-Magnon) Anyway, as this concoction was simmering on the stove I heard the neighbors coming home and because I love to scare and tease my friends I went running out our back door. As luck would have it there was a giant spider that I had seen earlier that day hanging in the same spot on our tree, so I grabbed it and took it with me. I snuck behind my neighbor and put the spider on his shoulder. Luckily, I didn't get caught, so I retreated into the shadows to watch the action. As he passed his wife to unlock their door his wife let out a blood curdling scream. Just then I heard a large crash from our kitchen. I jumped out of the shadows and yelled "boo". This time they both screamed. I don't know if it was because I startled them or because of my almost entire nakedness (I was wearing a towel). I decided I had better check on the loud crashing from my kitchen so I ran back inside my house. In my kitchen I found a fire blazing on the stove top and my food all over the walls, refrigerator, and floor. I also noticed my cat was covered in my midnight snack. I piece together what had happened. When my neighbors wife had screamed, it had startled my cat who was sniffing and sampling my egg delight. When the cat jumped he knocked the pan of the stove and tipped over the bottle of vegetable oil onto the hot burner. I quickly put out the fire with the towel I was wearing. I then went into the living room to see if my fantasy football scores were any better. They weren't. And now because of my bad mood I was very upset. In my anger I threw the computer down on our hard vinyl tile floor. It smashed the screen. At this noise Tricia finally came out of the bathroom where she had been bathing Keira to find me standing naked in the middle of eggs-a-la-everything and a broken computer on the floor. Luckily, I was able to hook it up to our TV so Tricia could continue to use it, but I was grounded from any type of interaction with the computer because of my irresponsible display. When I finally got back my computer privileges, I decided I didn't want to spend much time all at once on the computer because of our new set up. You see, the cord would only allow us to sit about 2 feet away from the TV and we had to sit on a hard metal chair. Which wouldn't have been too bad except that I had been very ill those two months. I had strep throat twice, and a nasty cough the entire time (probably from running around in my towel scarring neighbors in the middle of the night), so sitting on a hard chair playing on the computer was not something I felt like doing. But, now we have a computer that I can sit on the soft couch and write to my hearts content.

Unfortunately, my schedule will not allow me to do this for at least another two months. This is my schedule for now. Monday through Thursday I wake up at 0500 to go to work. I get off work at 1600. from there I go straight to school to get there by 1700. I get out of school at 2230 and am home at about 2300. On Fridays, I don't have school so I get some time then, but by then I am so tired and I need to get to sleep early because on Saturday I have to be to work by 0500. And on Sundays we have church at 0900, but we have to leave half-an-hour early in order to make it there on time. After church is now the time that I have to write to my heart's content. I hope you will forgive me for my upcoming neglect.