Do it for the Stories!

So, Jed and I met in June of 1995 and after we went to college, we didn't hang out a whole lot. Meaning, all of these stories pretty much happened within a 4 year span. I accredit our abundance of stories to our little motto that we came up with. Whenever we were face with something that we probably shouldn't do, whether it be because of legal issues, or danger issues, or even just parental law issues, we would look at each other and say "DO IT FOR THE STORIES!" Then we would do it, and as a result we have good stories to tell over and over again now that we are supposed to be too responsible to carry on the tradition. Enough blabbing. Let's get on with some more short stories of

Story 6: Don't Egg Me On
Jed and I worked for a psycho manager at Godfather's Pizza. This lady was married and they lived in her mother-in-law's basement. For some reason she didn't like her mother-in-law very much so she asked us if we would go with her to egg her mother-in-laws house (she didn't want her mother-in-law to see her car). Of course we agreed. We started throwing the eggs from across the street. I bent down to pick up some eggs and when I looked up I saw everyone running away. I turned around to see the mother-in-law about 6 feet away running straight at me. More out of reaction from being startled than being a jerk, I unloaded the two eggs in my hands and, unfortunately, they both hit the poor lady in the chest. I still feel bad for that one.

Story 7: Let's Go Already
Jed and I decided one night to go and visit his girlfriend in Centerville. Mom told me that she would hold me responsible if I didn't get her son home before his curfew. Jed and his girlfriend were having...disagreements, and wanted to talk them out. It was getting close to time to go, but Jed wouldn't budge. Thinking I could help the situation I asked Jed to give me the keys to his mother's mini-van so I could listen to music while I waited. He gave me the keys, and my plan was in motion. I jumped in the van and pulled out of the driveway thinking he would come after me. He didn't so I proceeded to drive past the house at about 75 miles an hour. The last time around, one of the neighbors was running out holding a cordless phone (which he threw at the car) yelling at me. I figured he was calling the police so I was going to pick up Jed and get out of there, but Jed and his girlfriend had gone inside. I drove down to a store and called the girl's house. Her mom told me they were out looking for me and wanted to know what was going on. I quickly drove back and parked the car at a church and walked back. On the way, one of the girl's friends, another neighbor, ran out to me and told me that Jed and his girlfriend were in the house. There were two older gentlemen standing at the door, and as I walked past them they asked me my name. I quickly replied, "John"

"John what?" they asked.

Not able to think quick for some reason, I said, "John Atkinson?".

They let me go by, but once inside Jed told me that he had already given them a description of me and knew that it was me. I went out and talked to the police and they told me that the neighbor was charging me for reckless driving and that the police were charging me with false information to a police officer, and auto theft? Yup, Jed told them that he didn't give me permission to take the car. Thanks Jed. I only ended up having to go to court for the false information to a police officer which was dropped because the officers didn't announce that they were police and they were in civilian clothes and an unmarked car. Lucky me.

Story 8: Dr. Patton
During a track practice I was practicing my long jump. As I threw my hands forward for my landing on one of my jumps, the palm of my right hand got caught on the toe spike of my shoe, slicing a nice cut into my hand. I used the tape and prewrap on my leg as a bandage on my hand. Jed drove me to the hospital and was allowed into the room where I would get stitched up. The nurse came in and checked my wound and told me to wait while she went to get the stuff to clean it. Jed was sitting on the other side of the room reading a magazine, so when she left I told Jed to switch with me. I gave him my bloody ball of tape and prewrap and I took his magazine and we switched chairs. The nurse came in to clean the wound and asked Jed to remove the bandage so she could clean it. Jed obeyed and removed the bandage, but there was no cut. She looked confused, then started laughing and said, "Funny joke." We thought we were caught until she said, "let me see your other hand." The look of confusion on her face was indescribable when Jed showed her that there wasn't a wound on that hand either. We couldn't hold it anymore, we both started laughing hysterically. Finally, when the doctor came in to stitch up my hand, he was having problems. He kept pulling the thread all the way through instead of leaving enough to tie it off. Jed asked if he could stitch me up, and the doctor said, "if I pull this one all the way through I will let you finish it up." I don't think the doctor expected to pull it through again, but he did and true to his word he gave Jed a quick lesson and Jed finished stitching me up.

Story 9: How High Can You Jump?
My mom supported me a lot in track and field, and one day she took Jed and I to the local grocery store to buy some snacks for our track meet the next day. Again we became bored going up and down the aisles so we started to see if we could jump and touch the aisle signs that said what products were on that aisle. We were touching every sign, until Jed touched one a little too hard. It broke off the chain on one side. How it was hanging now, my mom could have touched it too. I don't remember how that one got resolved, but I do know we didn't get kicked out. Although, my mom was very embarrassed and never took us shopping again.

That is all once again, but stay tuned for Mack Daddies Inn where Jed wore a dress. There might be some pictures