The Mother's Curse is Complete

When I was growing up my mother gave me the "Mother's Curse" many times. Whenever I would do anything embarrassing or get in trouble she would reply with, "I hope you have a child just like you someday. I am here to tell you that my mother's curse has come back on me one hundred times full. Let me explain. One day when I was a youngster I was laying on the bottom part of the shopping cart as my mom pushed the cart up and down the aisles. When we turned down one of the aisles a very rotund lady turned down the same aisle from the opposite end. The whole time my mom was praying that I would not notice this enormous lady. Well, by the time she reached the other end of the aisle I hadn't said anything and she thought she was in the clear until I blurted out at the top of my lungs, "holy cow mom, did you see how fat that lady was?" My mother hurried around the corner, but there was no doubt that the poor lady heard my observation.

Keira has a special knack for these similar outbursts of very embarrassing statements of the obvious. For example, the other day we were walking into the hospital and following a lady with the most unfortunate hairstyle. I can't describe it very well, but the picture below is close to the style of cut this lady had. Keep in mind that this lady was a little larger, the long hair on top was a little longer and bleached white, the short hair on the bottom in the back was a little shorter and dyed bright red, and her hair was obviously naturally curly. It definitely was not professionally done like the lady's hairdo above. In fact, it looked like she had cut and dyed it herself. Anyway, before we had a chance to cover Keira's mouth, and as loud as she could, she exclaimed, "Mom, that lady's hair looks like a Coo Coo." What do you say to that? "I'm sorry your hair is ugly?" As quiet as we could we tried to explain to her that this was not polite, but the damage was already done. Mostly we just tried to play it off like she wasn't talking about that lady.

Well, today was another great experience like this. We were at the BX and I was pushing the cart while Keira was sitting in the front of it facing me. We were going towards Tricia who was in the clothing section when out of nowhere a midg...excuse me...a vertically challenged lady crossed the aisle right in front of us. Of course just as I am thinking to myself, "good Keira was facing the opposite way." She blurts out (again at the top of her lungs), "Wow, did you see how little that lady was?" Trying to escape quickly I turned sharply without looking (because I panicked) and ran right into a clothing rack.

Mom, I am soooooo sincerely sorry for every time I made you walk away from me claiming not to know me. Is there anyway to reverse this curse? Any remedies that any of you have to reverse this curse would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.